This is a really great article I found saved on my computer tonight while I was searching through my documents. It by Orson Scott Card and its titled, "Dating with a Purpose"


To the unmarried young men of the church: If movie/dinner/dance is the axis of pointlessness in dating, what kind of date is useful in helping discover who would make a good wife for you?

I have little patience, I'm afraid, with "creative dates" — you know, the kind where your friend dresses up in a tux and serves KFC chicken to you and your date on fine china on a card table in the median strip of a highway.

To me, dates like that seem like showing off. It's about the public display of "creativity," not about getting to know the other person.

In fact, you'd better be sure that the young woman you're "treating" to this experience is not shy. I know plenty of women to whom such a "date" would be the rough equivalent of an hour or two in hell.

A useful date is not a show you put on to impress a girl. It's one where the two of you have a significant task to perform together. Something real, in which your cooperation is essential. Bungee-jumping does not qualify.

When I got home from my mission, my first date was with the woman I ended up marrying. Yet it took 3½ years to get from A to B. Part of the delay was because we were both trapped in the dating mindset.

I founded a theater company and started to put on plays in Provo — I was the first to produce plays at "The Castle," a Depression-era amphitheater behind the state mental hospital. My friends from the BYU theater department and I put on six shows a summer; our only funding came from ticket sales.

So when my future wife came home from her semester abroad in Paris, she found that her boyfriend had no time for her. Every night I was either rehearsing a play or taking tickets.

I had neither time nor money to spend a night at the movies or go out to dinner. I fancied that I was beginning my life's work, and surely she should understand that social life had to be postponed.

It never crossed my mind to say, "Come on up and help me take tickets." I was keeping a complete wall between my work and my wife-to-be. The result was that she felt abandoned (because she was) and I watched our relationship fade into nearly nothing.

The funny thing is that she loved plays; in fact, we first fell in love, not because of our dates, but because right after my mission I directed her in the lead in a ward production of "Brigadoon!"

Now, looking back, I can see that if I had simply asked her to help me, launching that theater company could have been the foundation of our relationship. Anything I delegated to her would have been done — and done right. With her counsel, the company might not have been such a financial disaster.

Not everybody is engaged in such a life-consuming activity as starting a theater company. But there are projects you can invite a woman to take part in that will show you both what married life might be like.

It could be something as simple as taking a walk together, picking up trash along the edge of a public roadway as you go. "I'm tired of all the litter along Elm Street," you say, "and I'm going to clean it up. Do you want to help me? Just you and me — when we're done we'll clean up and have some ice cream."

You show up with gloves and trash bags. You aren't so dumb as to assign her one side of the road while you do the other — you work side by side. You make up stories about the people who threw this stuff out of their car. You tell each other stories about your life.

At the end of the date, you can look with pride at a clean stretch of roadway.

You also know whether she enjoys getting a job done or leaves you to do most of the work; whether she cares only about how this is messing up her hair and clothes or whether she knows how to turn such a job into fun.

Just the fact that she agreed to do it at all tells you something. And the danger is that she'll be learning a lot about you, too: Did you prepare? Do you know what you're doing? Do you expect her to do all the hard or tedious work? Are you bossy? Do you listen to counsel? Are you careful of her safety? Her feelings?

Maybe the job you share with her is baby-sitting or running the nursery for some church event. It can be as simple as washing a car or cleaning out a shed. It can be tied to a season, like making Christmas cards or delivering gifts to needy children. It can involve family — taking your (or her!) younger siblings to a park or pool, museum or show.

The main thing is that the event isn't about you and her and whether you are attracted to each other, it's about something useful and real.

And by the end, you'll know a lot more about how much you'd enjoy the glorious, terrifying lifetime project of building a family with her.

Do You Ever?

Do you ever have something to say but just can't say it, for one reason or another? That is exactly how I feel right now. I am bursting at the seams and I want to just scream it from the rooftops, but I can't. What I want to say is going to make me vulnerable to whatever comes and it is super hard knowing that it could all go drastically wrong. I dream of it all being right and in the end, it all being a fairytale. I know that however much I wish, want, or pray, this won't be in my control. I can do everything in my power to make it happen for me but ultimately, it won't be just my decision.

Do you ever blow things out of proportion in your head? During the day I begin to. I start to lie to myself and make things seem like they are all perfect and that it will all work out the way I want. But nothing works out the way you expect it to. I daydream about the life I want and the person I want it with. Someday I hope to have this life, and even though it is a farshot, I still want it.

My Tour Demands

So today I was reading an article about Katy Perry's tour demands. http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/amplifier/89134/staring-at-katy-perry-could-cost-you-your-job/ (here's the link). Normally when this stuff comes up on Yahoo, unless it is super interesting, I don't really bother with it. But then it got me to thinking, if I was a huge pop sensation, what would my tour demands be?

1. I would want a fridge full of Dr. Pepper because it is the juice of the gods.

2. A really comfy bed. Like super comfy. So that I could take a nap before the show and during the show if I wanted to make the audience wait.

3. Some super hot guys, hand picked obviously, to be my groupies.

4. Sour patch kids... but not the green ones... those would need to be picked out.

5. The air conditioning would need to be around 68 degrees for optimal productivity.

6. The lighting would need to be soft, but enough so that I can see myself look good.

7. Shemar Moore as my bodyguard. And if you don't know who Shemar Moore is, you should be ashamed of yourself.

8. A shake weight. Because they are super hilarious.

9. Only black WOW pens in the room, with college-ruled paper for me to write on.

10. No birds of any kind would be allowed in the performing hall. At all. And all birds must keep a 1000 foot distance from me... otherwise they will be shot.

Anywhoo, what would your demands be? Creative, demanding, I want to know!

I Smoke Cigars

Ok. Today was great, I got tons of stuff done, and I am super proud of myself. One thing I am probably the most proud of... getting my familia to drink water! Ah! It is so exciting. My roommate turned me on to these water bottles a while back and I bought one and ever since I just want to drink water so I can drink out of my super cool water bottle. So, I made my family get them and they are hooked too! They are Camelback water bottles. I just got them at Target, but I am sure they carry them at Walmart or other camping goods stores. Seriously, addicting! I fill the thing to the top with ice and it lasts the whole day, depending on how much ice I eat ;). But seriously, I paid like fifteen bucks for this water bottle but have saved so much money because I don't have to buy cases of water bottles every week!

So go out and buy one of these, you won't regret it!

Alright, now on to a more serious question. I have been contemplating this for a while now and I want some feedback. So in the scriptures it talks about how God is no respector of persons... right? Well, if this is true then how are some people "elect" and held to a higher standard than others? I would appreciate any thoughts! But for now, I am signing off!

Alrighty friends! I am happy to announce that I am back home and safe in the beautiful city of Las Vegas! And by beautiful I mean full of tumbleweeds, wind and my personal favorite, DIRT! Yay. Anyways, I am super happy to be home with my family and to be able to spend some time at home for the summer.

Since my mom and both of my brothers have a lot of health problems, I knew that I could be a big help being at home. We are still trying to get our footing, but I am super happy to notice progress has been made! In less than a week I am hoping to be able to have cleaned and be able to make my mom a fabulous birthday dinner!... because of my AMAZING cooking skills!

I need to be more consistent with keeping up with my blog, but for now I just wanted to update you on life at the moment. So here are five things that are new/fun/exciting in my life!

1. I now have feathers in my hair! haha, I decided to go with something new and chopped my hair off and dyed it! (pictures to come)

2. I am losing weight! This is very exciting for me! I have been having some health problems myself that have made it super hard but now I am ready to shed the pounds!

3. I am transferring schools! Right now I am attending BYU but starting in a year (so Fall 2012) I will hopefully be attending the University of Utah!

4. I just bought some amazing new outfits at Forever 21! They are suer cute and sassy!

5. I am so excited to be home! And to see what the summer holds! It will be so good to spend time with my family... I love them so much!

I love you all, and I will post again, super soon!

5 Lessons About the Right Way to Treat People

Thanks to Kristen for sharing this. I absolutely love it and it just reminds me of how every encounter with someone can positively or negatively affect their day.

1. First Important Lesson - "Know The Cleaning Lady"

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade."

Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. Second Important Lesson - "Pickup In The Rain"
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.

A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3. Third Important Lesson - "Remember Those Who Serve"

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "50¢," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it."Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "35¢!" she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.

When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4. Fourth Important Lesson - "The Obstacles In Our Path"

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand - "Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition."

5. Fifth Important Lesson - "Giving When It Counts"

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her."

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.