My Tour Demands

So today I was reading an article about Katy Perry's tour demands. http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/amplifier/89134/staring-at-katy-perry-could-cost-you-your-job/ (here's the link). Normally when this stuff comes up on Yahoo, unless it is super interesting, I don't really bother with it. But then it got me to thinking, if I was a huge pop sensation, what would my tour demands be?

1. I would want a fridge full of Dr. Pepper because it is the juice of the gods.

2. A really comfy bed. Like super comfy. So that I could take a nap before the show and during the show if I wanted to make the audience wait.

3. Some super hot guys, hand picked obviously, to be my groupies.

4. Sour patch kids... but not the green ones... those would need to be picked out.

5. The air conditioning would need to be around 68 degrees for optimal productivity.

6. The lighting would need to be soft, but enough so that I can see myself look good.

7. Shemar Moore as my bodyguard. And if you don't know who Shemar Moore is, you should be ashamed of yourself.

8. A shake weight. Because they are super hilarious.

9. Only black WOW pens in the room, with college-ruled paper for me to write on.

10. No birds of any kind would be allowed in the performing hall. At all. And all birds must keep a 1000 foot distance from me... otherwise they will be shot.

Anywhoo, what would your demands be? Creative, demanding, I want to know!